Why do I write these blogs?

People may wonder about my motivation for writing these blogs... is it an ego trip?  Maybe, but in reality there are a number of other reasons.

If I show you mine will you show me yours?

Firstly, I think it is important for anyone who chooses to work with me in a healing situation to know where I am coming from.  I feel it is important that a client finds a healer that they resonate with; someone that is going to respect their beliefs when they are opening up and talking about things they may have never spoken about before.

Many of us hold onto the belief that if we talk about what truly think and feel we will be seen as too weird.  In sharing some of the thoughts I have that may not be acceptable in mainstream society I hope to show clients that they are safe doing the same.

I have been to various professionals seeking guidance and learning and I realised that if the professional did not respect the way I understand my life and the world around me I am never going to make progress.  I am always going to be leaving a part of me outside the therapy room, and that just doesn't work.

I may not resonate with your own personal "wierdness" but I can assure you, it is unlikely to shock me and it will be respected. 

An encouraging voice
I also hope my blogs show that I am a strong believer in finding ways to solve problems.  I simply won't let things that get me down beat me.  I believe we are here to grow, to become truly authentic and love ourselves for who we are, but I also believe we are here to learn to treat others with compassion and respect, allowing them to be authentic and confident too.

In writing my blogs I hope to encourage people to find the courage to look for answers to their problems.  It is easy to think that we have to live with what we are given and that is our lesson.  Personally I believe that is only true if we have tried everything else.  Whether I encourage someone to come and see me for a healing or to find their own answers in their own way I don't care, so long as they are getting up, dusting themselves down and trying again.

I also want to encourage people to love themselves.  All too often we are given messages that we must be self deprecating and meek.  Many of us fear that the other option is to be egotistical and selfish.  I want to lead the way in learning that we don't have to be this person and that there is a loving way to change the way we think and talk about ourselves.  

Question everything
There is a lot of misinformation out on the net.  I understand that I am only giving my opinion, but if I can give someone the opportunity to use their own logic by asking them to examine what they are being told then I don't really care if they take on board what I am saying.  It is not important for me to be believed, it is important that the reader has questioned everything they are told and made up their own mind.

I always try to respect others beliefs but of course there are always going to be those that I find difficult to fully understand, possibly due to a lack of education or because they do not resonate with me in any way.  Maybe if someone reads one of my posts and disagrees they can comment and help me understand further.





Work in progress
This blog isn't the product of a person who believes she knows it all, far from it.  If you read back through my archive you're likely to find that I have contradicted myself; changing my mind as I grow and learn.  I am on a path of my own; a path of self discovery and one of my ways of processing what I am learning is to blog about it. If anyone wants to join me on the walk they are more than welcome.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Do you regret anything? Should you?

Some say that we should only regret the chances we didn't take. It's one of those concepts we take for granted, but I want to challenge it for a moment;  where is the self love in this statement?


Is it right for us to regret anything at all?


When I was 17 I left full time horticultural college looking to go on to study my diploma.  I visited a few colleges and talked with my parents about my future.  The more we talked the more I realised I simply wasn't ready to leave home.  As a shy introverted HSP moving away from home to go to college was simply impossible.  We scrapped the idea of me going to college planned to get a job with the qualifications I had.  Unfortunately it was 1992 and jobs were scarce and I became unemployed and didn't find a job until nearly a year later.

5 years down the line I could have looked back at my past and regretted my choices.  I was working in a dead end job at a garden centre earning a rubbish wage.  I could have been really cross with myself for missing out on the experience of going to residential college, for being weak, for not furthering my education.  There were so many reasons I could have used regret as a stick to beat myself with.

10 years after making that choice I was happy in an admin job earning twice what I could have earned if I had followed my dream of working in a plant nursery.  I also was warm and dry, something else I wouldn't have got working with plants.  And yet the meme at the top suggests I should still regret the chances I didn't take.  Does that feel true now?

Looking at it from another angle there are those that say that the fear of regret is what pushes us to  broaden our horizons.  Is fear really a good and enlightened motivator?  It's an easy motivator; it's so easy to say "if you don't do this you will regret it" but if we are looking to love ourselves more I think it is lazy.

Personally I would rather use a desire to grow or experience new things rather than a fear of regret to motivate me to take chances.  These motives are heart centred and lead to better experiences.  Rather than grudgingly doing something solely because you fear what will happen if you don't you are actively making choices based on what you actually want.

When we make choices we can only base them on where and who we are in that moment.  They say hindsight is 20/20 but in this case I disagree; we forget the fears we faced and stop loving ourselves.  From that place we then berate ourselves for failing. 

Personally I am for not regretting anything I have done or not done.  When you made that choice it was all you could do in that moment, and that is perfect.

Show yourself some love and stop using regret as a stick to beat yourself with.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Agrimony - for the crying clown

When people ask you how you are, do you brush them off with a laugh and a joke never letting on that inside you are crying.

Maybe when you are alone you reach for a glass of wine, chocolate bar or gaming controller, anything to take your mind off your problems.  If this is the case Agrimony may be the remedy for you.

Dr Bach wrote  about Agrimony people; "Though generally they have troubles and are tormented and restless and worried in mind or in body, they hide their cares behind their humour and jesting and are considered very good friends to know. They often take alcohol or drugs in excess, to stimulate themselves and help themselves bear their trials with cheerfulness."

Taking Agrimony can help you accept your woes and find ways to work through them to find true happiness.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Are you letting panic attacks rule your life?

Fear is something I deal with on an almost daily basis.
I don't say this so you feel sorry for me or so you can rescue me.  I say this because I want it to be clear that I know what it is to live with anxiety and fear.

I am not one of those people who fearlessly goes out into the world and just gets on with it.  I am one of those people that girds her loins and faces her fears head on.  Fear does not have to stop us doing what we want to do, but quite often it does.

One of the problems people who live with fear face is a the risk of a panic attack.  I admit, panic attacks haven't been a regular manifestation of my fear for many years but I do know how crippling they are. These crippling moments often come from a lack of self trust or self love; for me they happened either when I didn't believe I could handle a situation or when someone pointed out an aspect of my personality that I feared might be true.  Once a panic attack strikes the self talk spirals out of control, we become ungrounded and fall apart.

For someone trying to face fear, having panic attacks adds a second layer to deal with; the fear of having a panic attack becomes greater than the fear of the actual situation.  And so the cycle continues until we are unable to function.

So how do we stop this?

Many years ago I read a book called "Feel the fear and do it anyway" (follow the link, they are selling for £0.01!) and it taught me so many things about how to stop fear ruling my life, but when we are at risk of a panic attack we need a new strategy

There are 3 aspects that I think are important to beating a panic attack: grounding, awareness and self talk.  Here I am going to explain why they are important and offer some simple suggestions on how to shift the energy in all 3.

Grounding
In my blog The Importance of Grounding I explain what grounding is and why it is so important.  In brief though, grounding is our energetic connection to the earth and when we panic this is the first thing to go, we become ungrounded.  When this happens we feel spacey and light headed, this sensation can actually add to the panic attack because we don't feel in control.

Of course there are a number of complicated methods we can use to ground but when we are falling apart none of them are possible.  In this situation the best thing you can do is THINK FEET.  That is all.  Put as much of your attention on your feet.  Concentrate on how your shoes feel, or if you are bare foot, what does the floor feel like?  Concentrate on gravity, feel how it drags your feet onto the floor.

In doing this you are acheiving 2 things, firstly, you are moving your attention away from what is going on, and secondly you are concentrating on grounding your energy and that which is around you.  If you can, feel the energy pouring through your feet into the earth.  But if that is too hard, just think about your feet.

Awareness
I have a sneaking suspicion this may resonate with mindfulness, but as I haven't studied it I can't be sure.  When we sink into a panic attack our awareness of the situation becomes warped.  We believe the worst thing we fear really could happen.  We tell ourselves that the train will crash, people will leave us, we will die.  All of these beliefs cause the panic to spiral out of control.  This is where we have to STOP AND LOOK AROUND.  This might be for real or it might be metaphorical.

What are the real chances of the train crashing, everyone leaving us or us dying?  Become aware of the actual reality, not what we are creating in our world of fear.  In seeing that our greatest fear is unlikely to happen we can start to bring the level of panic down.

Self talk
Part of the process of a panic attack is the self talk; phrases like "I can't cope", "this is terrible" and "I am so afraid" all continue the cycle.  In reality they are negative affirmations and continuing to use them will simply make things worse and cause us to spiral.  The great thing is we can use this concept to counter the panic attack instead.  The phrase WHATEVER HAPPENS, I WILL COPE is phenomenal.  Just say it now and witness how strong you feel now.  If that doesn't work spend some time thinking about all the times you thought the panic attack or situation was going to kill you and realise that it didn't.  Hold onto the pride that you got through it and pin it to that phrase.  Remember, in the past, whatever happened, you coped.  You got through it!  It didn't beat you, you are still here.

Now use the phrase again, filled with the pride that you got through those times!  Do you feel you could take anything on now?

I realise, when a panic attack hits it comes like a steaming train, it feels like there is no stopping it.  Your body fills with adrenalin and you go into that fight or flight mode.  But, if you can begin to even think about these 3 steps you are on your way to beating panic attacks.  You may still get them, but very soon you are the one in control.

I have reached a stage where more often than not my body is going through the motions but inside I am sitting there, looking around me, seeing what the situation really is and just waiting for my body to calm down.  It's still unpleasant, but it doesn't cripple me any more and is soon over.

Nearly every day I leave the house I face a fear in some way, and every day I get through it.  There is nothing special about me, it's pure bloody mindedness and a refusal to let fear get the better of me.  With baby steps and a determination I believe anyone can do it.  Don't let fear of panic attacks stop you trying.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Which therapy; Crystals or Bach?

When visiting my website it can be difficult to decide which therapy would be best for you.  I have written this blog to help you decide.

What are the therapies for?

Bach Remedies
Bach remedies are a system of emotional healing.  They work purely on the emotional aspect of the mind-body-spirit system.  This means that they cannot be used directly for working on physical ailments.  However they can be used to help you deal with the emotions you are experiencing regarding an illness; for instance, if you are depressed about how you feel physically, the remedies can be taken with regards to the depression.

Crystal Healing
It is believed that crystal healing works on an energetic level effecting the whole mind-body-spirit system.  This means that crystal healing can bring the whole of that system back into balance, possibly helping on all levels.

How much do I need to participate in the work?

Which therapy is chosen can sometimes boil down to pure practicality.  Are you the kind of person that likes to be in control?  Will you remember to take a remedy?


If you like to be in control and are good at remembering to do things then Bach Remedies are an option.  However if you are likely to forget to take them then Bach remedies will not work for you.

If you see having a healing as an opportunity to lay back, take time out and be more passive then crystal healing may be more of an option.



Are you able to talk about your problems?
Some people benefit from talking about their problems; simply sharing with someone you trust not to judge you can be a healing experience in itself.  For others it is not so easy; very private people may find the need to talk about their problems stressful.  Other people may find it hard to explain how they are feeling, they just know something is wrong.

If you are the kind of person who is not concerned about discussing your problems then Bach remedies are an option.  Sometimes in discussing what you are dealing with you can gain deeper understanding and a step in the healing process can be removed allowing the Bach remedies to work on the next layer.

If you are a much more private person crystal healing works perfectly well whether I know about the situation or not.  As I am purely a channel for the energy and work by intuition I need not know any details of what you are facing.


In the end, neither Bach Remedies or crystal healing will cause any harm and the simple process of taking time out to care for yourself is healing in itself.  What have you got to lose? What have you got to gain?

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Living a cruelty free life

“An it harm none, do what ye will”

Pagans reading the subheading above will recognise it as part of the Wiccan Rede and although I do not consider myself Wiccan my spiritual path began in Paganism and I have carried these words with me ever since.

In holding these seven words close to my heart I find I have to make choices in my life to ensure I cause as little harm to myself and others as possible, linked closely to this is my deep desire to live as cruelty free a life as possible.

"Cruelty free" is something I am deeply, deeply passionate about.  Living a cruelty free life means that the products we buy have not harmed animals in any way.  Now, I realise this is impossible; everything we do harms animals in some way even if it is the insects that are killed when the farmer harvests the veggies we eat, but it is possible to do a lot less harm if we are careful how we shop.  Aside from buying free range eggs and meat and organic foods as much as possible, being careful in what cosmetics and cleaning products we buy is vitally important.

Why do we need to do this?  It's odd but some people still ask this question.  There is an underlying ignorance about what goes on in the cosmetic industry, I'm not here to tell you the gory details, Google will inform you.  Let's just say if you saw what happened to animals like your pet cat, rabbit, guinea pig or even dog just so that you and your home can look and smell good you would be horrified.

Horror aside, it is important to understand that something that is considered safe for animals may be toxic for humans.  Look at what goats can eat, would you feel safe eating that?

There is also a lot of ignorance about which products are actually cruelty free.  Many products say "not tested on animals" but in reality they are not cruelty free.  As a bench mark, if you went to Tescos and looked down the cosmetics and cleaning isles I will tell you, there is possibly one or two items in all that is available that is truly cruelty free.  Some may say they are, but in reality they simply pay another company to do the dirty work for them or they test the ingredients and not the completed product.

It all sounds quite complicated; how do we ensure that the products we buy are not causing harm? The simplest way is to look for the Cruelty Free International logo (below) on your products.  For years this was difficult, you had to buy on-line from small businesses but larger companies are realising that there is a market for these products and now more and more are getting on board.

It is now very very easy to keep yourself and your home clean with products that carry this logo. Superdrug, M&S, The Co-Op, Sainsbury's, Method, Ecover and Astonish are all companies that produce a range of products that either carry the leaping bunny logo or are PETA approved.  Look at the list, you can see how easy it is to cover all your cosmetic and cleaning needs in just a few shops or brands, all of which can be found on the high street.  If you can't find what you want this list is the go to guide on what is safe to use in a cruelty free lifestyle.

So now that you see how simple it is I challenge you; what can you change today to ensure you do not cause harm to animals?  What excuse do you have for not making this simple change?

And the next step for those that are already living this lifestyle?   There is still so much work to be done to create a cruelty free lifestyle.  The Dr Hadwen Trust are doing amazing things in animal free medical research.  If you are one of those that needs to use pharmaceuticals but feel bad every day you take your meds think about supporting them and help work towards a world where even our medicines aren't tested on animals.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Aspen - For that uneasy feeling

There are a number of Bach remedies for fear however, Aspen is a little different to the other.   Unlike remedies such as Mimulus and Cherry Plum that are for fears that you can name Aspen is for when we are anxious or scared but can't explain why.

Dr Bach wrote: "Vague unknown fears, for which there can be given no explanation, no reason. Yet the patient may be terrified of something terrible going to happen, he knows not what."

When we are constantly bombarded with messages from the media that we should be scared or worried we can find ourselves feeling anxious.  However, because many of the messages are subtle or varied, we can't explain what is causing the anxiety; we just feel like something terrible is going to happen.

Another situation where Aspen is useful is when the cause of the fear has become buried through time; we may feel a constant level of fear but can't remember why.  In this instance Aspen helps to peel away the layer and discover the cause of the fear.  Once this has happened one of the other fear remedies can be taken to help us move through the fear completely.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Centaury - for when you give too much

 Do you find that you exhaust yourself looking after others?  All the time people come to you in need and of course you're not going to say no are you?

When you find yourself in this situation Centaury is here to help.

Dr Bach said about Centaury people; "Their good nature leads them to do more than their own share of work, and in so doing they may neglect their own particular mission in life."

Centaury helps us set boundaries so that we only give what we can without harming ourselves.  Rather than us being pushed to our limits so we snap out of desperation we can gently draw a line that gives us space to follow our own dreams whilst still helping others.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/