Saturday 13 June 2015

How to be successful without being amazing

Humanity is waking up to the idea that life doesn't have to be as it was in the past.  We are realising there is more to life than being a "slave to the man" with our brains shut off, believing what we are told and living our lives filled with obligation and drudgery.

This is a wonderful thing and it is great to see so many inspirational speakers stepping forward showing us the way it could be.  But, I think there is a big risk of us blindly following the brightest lights and still not thinking for ourselves.

The shelves are filled with books that promise to teach us to be able to follow our dreams and live our own lives, but scratch the surface and are they really telling us how to live our lives, or are they showing us that to be fulfilled and successful we need live the lives they believe are successful?

In the past being successful meant owning your own home, holding down a job and bringing your kids up to be good citizens.  Now we are meant to do this AND write a book, study a new course, run a successful business on the side, hold successful dinner parties, stay thin, sleep well, do yoga...... I could go on.  We think we are being liberated but instead we are being taken from one box labelled "successful" to another, and now the criteria is higher and we are more likely to feel we have failed.


The problem starts with the fact that many of these authors and leaders are Type A people.  They seem to magically have the energy to run from job to job, stay fit and eat healthy surviving on only 4 hours a sleep a day.  They are the special people, the geniuses, trailblazers if you like, and the thing they don't understand is how to be normal.  They don't understand that most of us just about have enough energy to go to work, deal with the kids and put a healthy meal on the table at the end of the day.

This lack of understanding leads to there being an unintended and hidden guilt trip that says "if you're not like me you're not good enough".

I am on my second book in an attempt to learn more about boundaries and assertiveness, something many lightworkers struggle with.  In both books there has been at least a section that talks about how to become successful and both have given lists of things you must do every day to achieve this such as meditate for 30 minutes, write a list of at least 10 ideas, go for a run, eat healthy, do something to make your dream come true, the list goes on and on.

Have we got to a stage where we can only be successful if we are managing to squeeze 26 hours into a day?

I want to stand here and tell you, categorically, NO!

In the end, for you to consider yourself successful at the end of the day you only have to do one thing.  Ask yourself the following question; "did I do the best I could today?" I assure you, the answer will be yes every time.  If it isn't work out what small step you can take tomorrow to do a little more.

If you want you can follow it up with; "Did I bring more light or darkness to the world?".  All it takes to bring more light is to stay positive, make someone smile or stay calm in a stressful moment.  Nothing more.

We are in a state of transition.  Those trailblazers have found their voices and they have found that people will listen to them.  However, these people are trying to wake us from our sleep by shining a bright light in our eyes, and for some that works.  But for many there needs to be a gentle dawning where the light enters our life slowly and compassionately and we find our own way of being successful, in whatever grand or subtle way that is.

I don't believe we are all meant to be grand healers, writers, painters or trailblazers.  I believe the majority of us are meant to simply hold the light, stay calm and gently improve the world with our compassion.  You can hit a rock with a hammer and you will make a difference, but if you want to make something beautiful you need to gently work it with small movements, tuning into what is really needed.  We are those small changes.

Do the best you can today, and at the end of the day, know that that is enough, you ARE successful!



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