You don't have to be Wonder Woman...

... or Superman for that matter.

I was just reading a post on the Attainable Sustainable Facebook page asking women whether they use power tools or if they ask the men in their lives to do things for them.  As usual there is the stream of women posting saying that they are fully capable of using a power drill and love it.

It's great to see women doing these things but, as someone with fragile self esteem, it is easy to make comparisons and think that somehow I am letting down the feminists of the past by not being able to do this.

Of course the first thing that gets rolled out is that I shouldn't compare.  Of course I shouldn't but that is not really enough.  In the back of my mind it's still there, whispering to me "you're rubbish, you should be able to do anything you want to, what did the feminists fight for?"

This is where we have to think about these things a little deeper about what is going on.

With the increase in the number of "ordinary" people being able to showcase their abilities we are flooded with messages from A-type achievers and we think this is normal.  People all around us are being creative and successful in so many ways and it is easy to think that somehow we are "less than" them because we're not shouting from the rooftops (or at least through our 10,000 likes Facebook page) that we have just finished our latest book on fitness and cake baking whilst travelling through Nepal on the back of a camel.

But, how does this relate to power drills?

Some time ago I was talking to a friend about the very same subject and I realised that it was ok for me to not like power tools, just like it is ok for me to not want to fix my own motorbike, because, you know what?  I have no desire to be Wonder Woman, I want to be me!

Why should I grovel around on a cold garage floor with a spanner, skinning my knuckles and getting frustrated trying to fix my motorbike when my husband is a perfectly good mechanic?  Just so I can prove that I take Girl Power seriously?

I'm ALL for feminism and for anybody doing whatever they like (so long as the aren't hurting anyone of course) but that is completely different to actually doing EVERYTHING.  There are men out there that are not good with their hands, but are amazing chefs, just like there are women wielding welding torches and eating junk food because what they cook is inedible.

Equality isn't about being able to do everything, it's about having the chance to try.  I've had a go at welding, I was ok with the gas torch but terrified of the arc welder, and you know what, that's fine.

Each and every one of us is made up of things we are great at, things we are ok at and things we are rubbish at, and all of that is perfect.  The sooner those of us with fragile self esteem embrace that the sooner we can stop beating ourselves up about what we are rubbish at and start telling the world about what we are good at.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

 

On being the light

These few simple words speak volumes to me.

There was a time, early along my path, when I ran to those who I saw as holding the light, I thought that was what you did. Somehow I believed that being in the presence of a guru, either in person or through consuming their work in the form of books or recordings, would be enough to solve all my problems.

I also looked to objects and rituals in the idea that they would be what I needed to be "spiritual". If I had the right incense burner, the right words for the ritual, the right routine all my problems would dissolve away to nothing and all would be wonderful.

As time went on I learnt that this wasn't the goal; the goal is to BE the light. I still love being around light filled people but now it is because I can learn from them how I can become the light rather than just to bask in theirs. I still love pretty things, but I see them for what they are now.

I am a long way off, there is so much more work still to do, but at least now I know I am using MY light to guide my way rather than being blinded by that of others.

Learning to walk with Spirit by your side.

I love being in spiritual groups, questions are asked that challenge you to define your beliefs further; to make you understand something that you took on board without questioning.  When this happens it allows you to either deepen that belief or discard it.

Today I was on a Kryon group and someone asked why life is about learning and growing?  When Kryon talks about Spirit being like a parent why do we have lessons to learn like poverty, sorrow and loss.  Why can't Spirit simply make our lives easier when It has the ability?

I had heard Kryon talk about the Parent/Spirit analogy a number of times and it made sense but not in a way I could articulate, so I took the opportunity to put what I understood into words and allow it to become a belief. 

 ~*~

The very fact that we have free will creates life lessons. If we were fully evolved we would be able to manifest all we need and would be happy. But, through free will we have lost that ability, so we have to learn again.
 

When a child has to learn to walk the parent does not do it for him; the child has to learn to control his limbs, to balance and to step forward. The parent will be there to pick him up when he falls, but he still has to experience the fall and then try again.  Eventually the child goes on to learn to pick himself up when he falls so he no longer needs his parents.  The parents cannot do this for him.

A parent feeds us when we are babies but as we grow we have to learn to feed ourselves when we are hungry.  We have to learn what is good for us and what makes us ill, we have to learn to prepare the food to make it taste nice. If someone always does this for us we are forever dependent on that person.

When we step out into the world we have to learn to make safe choices.  Our parents can't be there every step of the way to tell us what to do, and sometimes we get hurt. The parent helps us recover, gives us love and support, but we have to learn from our mistakes to ensure we don't do it again.  Again, we have to go on to learn to do this for ourselves so that we are not dependent on our parents for the rest of our lives.

Spirit is the same. It is like a loving parent watching us take our first steps. Sometimes we fall but if we ask for help Spirit will lift us up and help us make the necessary changes to move forward.  But, we still have to "fall". That "fall" could mean losing a job or relationship. We made the choices that led us to that moment just like the baby is choosing the fine movements in that first step. When we make less than optimum choices we fall.  We have to be able to pick ourselves up and learn the necessary lessons so that we can make better choices next time

Spirit is not here to do everything for us, like our parents aren't here to do everything for us. Spirit is here to guide us so we can do it for ourselves.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/