The power of the words we use.

I am in a support group for my SAD and at the moment there is are often people coming online saying how terrible the winter is and how they dread the darker days.  Reading these messages I am reminded of a time when I was struggling and the lesson I learnt from it.

I loved my nan dearly and the day she had her stroke my world changed forever.  She survived the stroke but along with weakness down one side she was left with no speech.  Watching the woman I used to have such deep conversations with struggling to find the most basic words broke my heart and I began grieving for the loss of the bright, intelligent woman who had made such an impact on who I am now.  The problem was, she hadn't died, she was still here and every time I visited I saw her struggling and my heart was broken again each time.  Watching her retreat into herself because she could not communicate was heart wrenching.

One day I was heading home from a visit to the hospital and I became aware that I was repeating to myself "I can't handle this" as I once again spiraled into panic and deep sorrow.  In that moment it was like a light bulb came on.  Every time I told myself I couldn't cope I began the downward fall into a pit of darkness.  I realised in that moment that the words I was using were creating the emotions I was feeling and I desperately needed to do something about it.

After that journey I made a point of listening to the words I used about things I was experiencing.  If I felt myself saying "I can't cope" I would instantly stop myself, even saying "stop!" out loud if necessary, and rephrase my words to "I am coping, all will be well"

From that day I started to cope with the situation with my nan much better.  Yes, my heart was still broken and it didn't heal until she passed and was free of the limitations the stroke imposed on her, but I was more able to visit her and not end up in such a state of distress.

This taught me that the words we use change our perception of the world around us and our ability to cope with situations.  When we affirm that we cannot cope, we do not cope.  When we state that our lives are terrible that is what we experience.

When you find you are not coping with whatever life has thrown at you take a moment to listen to the words you are using.  Are you convincing yourself things are worse than they are?  Try turning your words around; if you say you are not coping tell yourself you are.  If you are saying you are scared or that something is terrible

tell yourself you are strong and that all will be well.  It takes self awareness, constant vigilance but you don't actually have to believe what you are saying, oddly in reassuring yourself that all is well you will begin to believe it and feel much better.

In the end, what do you have to lose?

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

What is a healing crisis and why does it happen?

Sometimes when we receive healing it can seem to make us feel worse and this can lead us to believe it hasn't helped.  At times like these it is possible you are going through what is known as a healing crisis and, as crazy as it sounds, it is important to understand that it's a good thing.

There are times when the problem we are dealing with is caused by much deeper issues. For this explanation I am going to use the term "wounds" but I mean it in an emotional sense.  These wounds have been caused by an incident, or number of incidents, that have hurt us deeply.  Sometimes when we have these experiences we put the emotional trauma into a metaphorical box and bury it away.  We may not remember the incident but the damage is there, like a shrapnel wound that has healed over.

When people have this kind of physical wound it is necessary to dig deep into the surrounding area.  It may be that the body has formed a protective bubble around it, filled with poison that must be cleaned out before the shrapnel can be removed.  This process can be very unpleasant and quite painful.  It can also take some time to heal with the cleaning process being repeated, further infections treated and more steps needing to be taken before it starts to heal.

Now take this metaphor and apply it to the emotional damage of a traumatic experience.  It might be that on the surface we aren't aware of how deep the trauma goes and the "shrapnel" may be tiny, but the resulting wound can be quite large.  Before it can be healed completely it has to be exposed and the toxic feelings, beliefs and emotions removed.  This can be a painful but necessary process that leads to breakthroughs that can be life changing. Just like someone who has recovered from an injury, after the work is done, we find we are no longer susceptible to the same problems and we look at life in a completely different way.

These experiences are rare and I am often reluctant to talk about them because worrying about them can cause them to manifest.  I have never known them to happen as a result of my crystal healing work and when the Bach Remedies have triggered them it is possible that the remedies in the treatment bottles are exactly the ones needed to support the client through the process.

If a healing crisis happens try to understand that it is a good thing.  Keep going and know that great shifts are happening and you will be stronger and healthier once you come out the other side. 

The religions of Science and Atheism

Yes, I know, that title is going to annoy quite a few people.  I also understand that there are quite a few differences between science, atheism and say Christianity. However, I do think there is are similarities that need pointing out.

Firstly, what do I mean by "religion"?

Religion to me is different to spirituality in that the believer looks to a hierarchy for guidance.  Their relationship with their higher power is through a priest or other "real person" and what they believe is often taught to them.  In my opinion religion alone is based on blind belief. 

Conversely, spirituality is a direct connection between the believer and the higher power and faith is based on personal experience.  Don't get me wrong, a Christian can be spiritual and have a personal relationship with their God but there are others that believe what they are told without question.
 
"So how is science a religion?"

When you look to the general populous and their relationship with science its similarity to religion becomes very clear.  They look to people in white coats and believe what they are told.  There is no questioning, no debate, simply blind belief.  You could say the scientists are "spiritual" they have a personal relationship with their tests and results, but the people outside of that can only believe what the scientist tells them.

The scientists themselves are able to replicate their experiments, they have their proof of their "higher power", but for most people there are few experiments that we can do at home to prove what the scientists say.  I can't proved that there is electricity in my wires, I can't see the electrons getting excited to that transfers the energy down the wire, all I can prove is that when I flick a switch the light comes on.  This means my understanding of electricity is based on blind faith; I have been told there is electricity in the wires and that gets turned into light when it reaches the bulb. It's only because I have been brought up to believe scientists that I don't question it.

"But what about atheism, surely that can't possibly be a religion?"

Are you sure?  Can you prove that "God" does not exist?  As far as I know there are no actual tests that have proven "his" non-existence.  This means the belief that he does not exist, again, is blind.  Where is the difference, both groups of people believe something that cannot be proven to be true.


Many atheists rely on science to hold up their beliefs in the lack of a higher power but we have to accept that we simply don't know that this is true.   We don't know what we don't know and we never will.

Scientists don't know everything and never will.

If Louis Pasteur hadn't been utterly convinced of his discovery of germs we would still be treating illness in completely the wrong way, and yet what he was saying was radically different to what was currently believed.  His discovery changed great tracts of science in one sweep.

Galileo was tried for heresy for stating that the earth revolved around the sun. Scientists said it could not be true based on their understanding of what they knew at the time.

I realise we are much further on in our understanding of physics but there is still so much we don't know.  Is it not arrogance to consider any possibility as untrue simply because our current science can't prove it at this moment in time?

I am not asking atheists or science followers to change their beliefs and "get god"; they have found a religion that makes sense to them and I respect that.  Instead I would like them to accept that what many of them have is blind faith in something that a "wise person" taught them and allow those of us with spirituality to get on with our lives without judgement. 

Bach remedies for going back to school

The summer holidays are over and you have bought all the new uniforms for the kids, now you're back to getting the kids out of bed and back into the routine of the school week.  Here are some remedies that might help this go smoother.

The Monday morning feeling - Hornbeam might be one of the most important remedies at this time as it focuses on that feeling of tiredness you get from just thinking about doing something but when you get moving you realise you have all the energy you need.  Both for you and your kids just the thought of that first alarm going off is enough to drag you down.  Taking Hornbeam can help you get the motivation and energy you need to get those kids off to school.

First day nerves - For sensitive children or those that are bullied fear may be a big factor in going back to school.  If the fear isn't too strong Mimulus might help your little one have the courage to go back after weeks of happily playing in a safe environment.  If they are very scared it might be worth looking at Rock Rose.

Bullying - On top of the remedies mentioned in the previous section adding Centaury and Walnut can help protect a sensitive child from bullies and help them stand up for themselves in a non-violent way.

Worrying about your little one - It's quite understandable for you to be sad and a bit worried when your child goes back to school, particularly if it is the first year in a new school.  In this instance Red Chestnut might help you let go and trust that all will be well.  If you are frightened that something bad might happen then Mimulus could be helpful.

A little help through the day - If your child finds school difficult it can be helpful to put a few drops of each remedy in a bottle of drink that they take with them.  This is a great way to give them support while you are not with them.  4 drops of Rescue Remedy can help if they get upset easily or 2 drops of a specific remedy if they are dealing with a particular challenge. There are also Rescue Remedy gummy stars available that your child can chew when he or she is feeling stressed or nervous.

No child wants to go back to school but with Bach Flowers it can be made easier for both parent and child.  If there are any other challenges you face feel free to contact me for further advice.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Falling in love with the 9-5 again

Over the last 10 months I have been working to build up my healing practice again after taking some time out.  It has been quite a journey that has recently paid off with some wonderful clients.  In a moment of peace this morning I had quite an unexpected revelation.

Due to mortgages that need paying and all the other expenses that come with being in my 40s I have had to continue to work full time, slotting in building up my healing practice where I can.  So many people have suggested that I should be ditching the job to follow my dreams and I have felt dissatisfied in not being able to do that blaming my circumstances, that are quite normal, for not being able to "follow my dream".  Well, the past 2 weeks have led me to realise that being a full time healer is not my dream.  Not for now anyway.

Over the last few weeks I have had quite a few clients and it has been wonderful to tune into the crystals, flowers and Spirit to work with these people.  I look forward to working with them again but it has made me realise I couldn't do it full time.  As an introvert it would simply be too much interaction, as an HSP it would be too many different energies.  I am pretty sure I would burn out quite quickly even though I am working with universal energies and not my own.

This realisation has let me to see that I have been beautifully given what I can handle.  Rather than being in a situation where I need to charge high prices and churn people through like a conveyor line to be able to make enough money I am able to offer low prices and reduce the amount of interaction I am exposed to.  At the same time I am able to give my whole attention to the person in front of me rather than having the worry in the back of my mind about whether the next pay cheque, I mean, client will turn up.   The focus shifts from making money to helping people, and that is what it is ALL about for me!

I also realise that I was being sucked into following a dream that I thought was mine but proved to be someone else's; something that is expected, quite innocently, from anyone that takes the path of a healer.  Now pressure is taken off me to advertise more, work out how to increase word of mouth and all the things that go with trying to work towards relying on my healing practice for a living.

This is all quite wonderful because it frees me up to appreciate my job and appreciate the one client a week I have been getting up until the last 2 weeks where I have seen 4.  I have loved every minute of it and I don't begrudge any of those clients for one second; they have allowed me to help them whilst at the same time given me the opportunity to see a little more of where my path truly leads.  I am more at peace with the 9-5 because of this.  Win Win!!!

The next step is to decide whether I am in the right 9-5.  Maybe in accepting that it is something I am choosing rather than resenting it I will either find myself happier in the job I have or find a way to a better job that inspires me more.  I am also once again happy with the plan that I will do more healing when the mortgage is paid off and I won't need to earn so much.  Yeah, that might be 30 years away, but I'm cool with that.

For now I am happy to be an "evenings only" healer where I can offer my services at a low price at a time that can suit other 9-5ers.  It means spaces are limited and I need to set boundaries, but that's all part of the wonderful learning that comes with the path.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

The magnificence that is you - Your Higher Self

In many modern spiritual texts you will find reference to the Higher Self and this is a belief I personally subscribe to, but what is it?

There is a belief that we are all connected to an aspect of ourselves that is part of our direct connection to Spirit.  The image on the right depicts this connection in the form of a metaphor. 

We have our 3D physical body here on earth with its relating energy system.  "Above" us is our higher self, connected to us through our crown chakra and "above" that is Spirit.  The term "above" actually refers to the frequency of the vibration being higher as opposed to them being geographically above us.

The higher self aspect of our selves is not hampered by the negative beliefs we carry down here in 3D and has a much stronger connection to Spirit.  Some call it their intuition as it knows all our thoughts and all our history and it loves us deeply despite what beliefs we hold about ourselves.  Its connection to Spirit means that it can advise us on our problems and guide us to situations that help us learn grow.  Our higher self literally has all the answers we need.  Those who work with forms of divination such as tarot are making contact with their higher selves to obtain the information they give in their readings.


The problem many of us face is actually making contact to our higher selves.  It's all very well can good having this wise being so close but if we can't access them what is the point?  This is where guided visualisation come in.  In quieting the mind and using any number of meditation techniques we can start to make regular contact.  Once we do this we can work towards having constant contact so that when we are in a difficult situation we can tune into our "intuition" and know what is right for us.  When we are sad, scared or confused we can tune into the wise being and receive the love and support that is always there.  If you ever want to experience unconditional love your higher self is the person to go to.

This aspect of yourself can come in many forms, some see people just like them, others have animals, angels or just beautiful bright lights, anything is possible.  The important thing when meeting your higher self is to not judge or question what you see.  It is likely a metaphor that is meaningful to you and should be comforting; not scary or disconcerting at all.

If you are unsure that what you are experiencing is your higher self you can always tell because of the level of love they show for you.  They may be stern or direct with you at times but there should always be an undeniable sense of love.


For my part my higher self changes his form to suit the situation.  He came to me first in the form of the classic "boy next door" so that I was not threatened by him or in awe.  It was very important that I understood that I was to see him as part of me rather than something to be worshipped. In time he showed me his magnificence through a painting by Catherine Andrews.  The love that comes from him when I meet him takes my breath away.  He has been with me through some very difficult times and always supported me.



Meeting and working with your higher self is a truly enlightening and uplifting experience, one I would advise to anyone.  If you are interested in meeting yours I have written a meditation here to help.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Meditation - Meeting your higher self

For information on your higher self please see my blog titled The magnificence that is you - Your Higher Self

Find yourself a place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 minutes.  Tell anyone in your house you are going for some quiet time and ask not to be disturbed.  Turn your phone off and leave it in another room.

Sit in a chair with your back straight and your feet flat on the floor.  Rest your hands in your lap in any way that is comfortable for you.  Make sure you will be warm enough and if necessary use and eye mask to block out any annoying light.  If you find there is noise in the house you can block it out with some calming music through headphones.  You need to be as relaxed and free from distractions as possible.

When you are settled close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Place all of your attention on your feet to help ground and centre you in this moment.  Feel your socks or shoes or the carpet under your feet.  Feel the strength of gravity pulling your feet onto the floor holding you in the here and now.

Now relax your feet and slowly work your way up your body relaxing every muscle as you go, starting with your legs and moving through your torso, shoulders, neck, face, and all the way up to the top of your head.

Scan your body for any signs of tension and breath relaxation into them.

Now see yourself walking along a path towards a pyramid and as you walk you see there is an entrance with a door.  Open the door and walk into the pyramid.

Inside you are surprised to see it is lit beautifully and the décor is calming and welcoming.  You see a pair of chairs, that look comfortable to sit on.  Walk over to one of the chairs and settle in.  Looking on the floor you see a glowing figure 8 surrounding the chairs, one chair in each loop.

As you sit there you become aware that the walls of the pyramid have become translucent and through them you can see above you another pyramid, this time made of a golden white light.  As you watch it lowers down and merges with your own pyramid.  As it does a door opens in the side opposite where you entered.

Looking across to the door you see a being enter the room.  This is your higher self.  It can come in the form of a person, an animal or any number of other forms.  Try not to analyse its form at this point but you should not feel scared or uneasy in any way.  If you are unsure whether it is your higher self see the figure 8 on the floor burning with a violet flame, this will not harm your higher self but will banish anything that could be harmful.

When you are happy that you are in the presence of your higher self ask if it has any messages for you.  Anything it says should be infused with love for you. Spend some time talking with your higher self asking any questions you may have or asking for healing.

When you are ready to return thank your higher self for meeting you and ask if it could make itself more accessible to you so that you can make contact more often.

Get up from your seat and leave the pyramid through the door you came in by and walk back up the path knowing that you can visit any time you like.

And now bring yourself back to the room you are in, here in the mundane world.  Start to use your senses to bring your awareness back to your body, particularly focussing on your feet and the effect gravity has on them, pulling them onto the floor.

When you are ready open your eyes and have a good stretch.  It might be helpful for you to have a drink and something small to eat to ground you.  You may want to write down your experiences for reference later.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/