You don't have to be Wonder Woman...

... or Superman for that matter.

I was just reading a post on the Attainable Sustainable Facebook page asking women whether they use power tools or if they ask the men in their lives to do things for them.  As usual there is the stream of women posting saying that they are fully capable of using a power drill and love it.

It's great to see women doing these things but, as someone with fragile self esteem, it is easy to make comparisons and think that somehow I am letting down the feminists of the past by not being able to do this.

Of course the first thing that gets rolled out is that I shouldn't compare.  Of course I shouldn't but that is not really enough.  In the back of my mind it's still there, whispering to me "you're rubbish, you should be able to do anything you want to, what did the feminists fight for?"

This is where we have to think about these things a little deeper about what is going on.

With the increase in the number of "ordinary" people being able to showcase their abilities we are flooded with messages from A-type achievers and we think this is normal.  People all around us are being creative and successful in so many ways and it is easy to think that somehow we are "less than" them because we're not shouting from the rooftops (or at least through our 10,000 likes Facebook page) that we have just finished our latest book on fitness and cake baking whilst travelling through Nepal on the back of a camel.

But, how does this relate to power drills?

Some time ago I was talking to a friend about the very same subject and I realised that it was ok for me to not like power tools, just like it is ok for me to not want to fix my own motorbike, because, you know what?  I have no desire to be Wonder Woman, I want to be me!

Why should I grovel around on a cold garage floor with a spanner, skinning my knuckles and getting frustrated trying to fix my motorbike when my husband is a perfectly good mechanic?  Just so I can prove that I take Girl Power seriously?

I'm ALL for feminism and for anybody doing whatever they like (so long as the aren't hurting anyone of course) but that is completely different to actually doing EVERYTHING.  There are men out there that are not good with their hands, but are amazing chefs, just like there are women wielding welding torches and eating junk food because what they cook is inedible.

Equality isn't about being able to do everything, it's about having the chance to try.  I've had a go at welding, I was ok with the gas torch but terrified of the arc welder, and you know what, that's fine.

Each and every one of us is made up of things we are great at, things we are ok at and things we are rubbish at, and all of that is perfect.  The sooner those of us with fragile self esteem embrace that the sooner we can stop beating ourselves up about what we are rubbish at and start telling the world about what we are good at.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

 

On being the light

These few simple words speak volumes to me.

There was a time, early along my path, when I ran to those who I saw as holding the light, I thought that was what you did. Somehow I believed that being in the presence of a guru, either in person or through consuming their work in the form of books or recordings, would be enough to solve all my problems.

I also looked to objects and rituals in the idea that they would be what I needed to be "spiritual". If I had the right incense burner, the right words for the ritual, the right routine all my problems would dissolve away to nothing and all would be wonderful.

As time went on I learnt that this wasn't the goal; the goal is to BE the light. I still love being around light filled people but now it is because I can learn from them how I can become the light rather than just to bask in theirs. I still love pretty things, but I see them for what they are now.

I am a long way off, there is so much more work still to do, but at least now I know I am using MY light to guide my way rather than being blinded by that of others.

Learning to walk with Spirit by your side.

I love being in spiritual groups, questions are asked that challenge you to define your beliefs further; to make you understand something that you took on board without questioning.  When this happens it allows you to either deepen that belief or discard it.

Today I was on a Kryon group and someone asked why life is about learning and growing?  When Kryon talks about Spirit being like a parent why do we have lessons to learn like poverty, sorrow and loss.  Why can't Spirit simply make our lives easier when It has the ability?

I had heard Kryon talk about the Parent/Spirit analogy a number of times and it made sense but not in a way I could articulate, so I took the opportunity to put what I understood into words and allow it to become a belief. 

 ~*~

The very fact that we have free will creates life lessons. If we were fully evolved we would be able to manifest all we need and would be happy. But, through free will we have lost that ability, so we have to learn again.
 

When a child has to learn to walk the parent does not do it for him; the child has to learn to control his limbs, to balance and to step forward. The parent will be there to pick him up when he falls, but he still has to experience the fall and then try again.  Eventually the child goes on to learn to pick himself up when he falls so he no longer needs his parents.  The parents cannot do this for him.

A parent feeds us when we are babies but as we grow we have to learn to feed ourselves when we are hungry.  We have to learn what is good for us and what makes us ill, we have to learn to prepare the food to make it taste nice. If someone always does this for us we are forever dependent on that person.

When we step out into the world we have to learn to make safe choices.  Our parents can't be there every step of the way to tell us what to do, and sometimes we get hurt. The parent helps us recover, gives us love and support, but we have to learn from our mistakes to ensure we don't do it again.  Again, we have to go on to learn to do this for ourselves so that we are not dependent on our parents for the rest of our lives.

Spirit is the same. It is like a loving parent watching us take our first steps. Sometimes we fall but if we ask for help Spirit will lift us up and help us make the necessary changes to move forward.  But, we still have to "fall". That "fall" could mean losing a job or relationship. We made the choices that led us to that moment just like the baby is choosing the fine movements in that first step. When we make less than optimum choices we fall.  We have to be able to pick ourselves up and learn the necessary lessons so that we can make better choices next time

Spirit is not here to do everything for us, like our parents aren't here to do everything for us. Spirit is here to guide us so we can do it for ourselves.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

The power of the words we use.

I am in a support group for my SAD and at the moment there is are often people coming online saying how terrible the winter is and how they dread the darker days.  Reading these messages I am reminded of a time when I was struggling and the lesson I learnt from it.

I loved my nan dearly and the day she had her stroke my world changed forever.  She survived the stroke but along with weakness down one side she was left with no speech.  Watching the woman I used to have such deep conversations with struggling to find the most basic words broke my heart and I began grieving for the loss of the bright, intelligent woman who had made such an impact on who I am now.  The problem was, she hadn't died, she was still here and every time I visited I saw her struggling and my heart was broken again each time.  Watching her retreat into herself because she could not communicate was heart wrenching.

One day I was heading home from a visit to the hospital and I became aware that I was repeating to myself "I can't handle this" as I once again spiraled into panic and deep sorrow.  In that moment it was like a light bulb came on.  Every time I told myself I couldn't cope I began the downward fall into a pit of darkness.  I realised in that moment that the words I was using were creating the emotions I was feeling and I desperately needed to do something about it.

After that journey I made a point of listening to the words I used about things I was experiencing.  If I felt myself saying "I can't cope" I would instantly stop myself, even saying "stop!" out loud if necessary, and rephrase my words to "I am coping, all will be well"

From that day I started to cope with the situation with my nan much better.  Yes, my heart was still broken and it didn't heal until she passed and was free of the limitations the stroke imposed on her, but I was more able to visit her and not end up in such a state of distress.

This taught me that the words we use change our perception of the world around us and our ability to cope with situations.  When we affirm that we cannot cope, we do not cope.  When we state that our lives are terrible that is what we experience.

When you find you are not coping with whatever life has thrown at you take a moment to listen to the words you are using.  Are you convincing yourself things are worse than they are?  Try turning your words around; if you say you are not coping tell yourself you are.  If you are saying you are scared or that something is terrible

tell yourself you are strong and that all will be well.  It takes self awareness, constant vigilance but you don't actually have to believe what you are saying, oddly in reassuring yourself that all is well you will begin to believe it and feel much better.

In the end, what do you have to lose?

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

What is a healing crisis and why does it happen?

Sometimes when we receive healing it can seem to make us feel worse and this can lead us to believe it hasn't helped.  At times like these it is possible you are going through what is known as a healing crisis and, as crazy as it sounds, it is important to understand that it's a good thing.

There are times when the problem we are dealing with is caused by much deeper issues. For this explanation I am going to use the term "wounds" but I mean it in an emotional sense.  These wounds have been caused by an incident, or number of incidents, that have hurt us deeply.  Sometimes when we have these experiences we put the emotional trauma into a metaphorical box and bury it away.  We may not remember the incident but the damage is there, like a shrapnel wound that has healed over.

When people have this kind of physical wound it is necessary to dig deep into the surrounding area.  It may be that the body has formed a protective bubble around it, filled with poison that must be cleaned out before the shrapnel can be removed.  This process can be very unpleasant and quite painful.  It can also take some time to heal with the cleaning process being repeated, further infections treated and more steps needing to be taken before it starts to heal.

Now take this metaphor and apply it to the emotional damage of a traumatic experience.  It might be that on the surface we aren't aware of how deep the trauma goes and the "shrapnel" may be tiny, but the resulting wound can be quite large.  Before it can be healed completely it has to be exposed and the toxic feelings, beliefs and emotions removed.  This can be a painful but necessary process that leads to breakthroughs that can be life changing. Just like someone who has recovered from an injury, after the work is done, we find we are no longer susceptible to the same problems and we look at life in a completely different way.

These experiences are rare and I am often reluctant to talk about them because worrying about them can cause them to manifest.  I have never known them to happen as a result of my crystal healing work and when the Bach Remedies have triggered them it is possible that the remedies in the treatment bottles are exactly the ones needed to support the client through the process.

If a healing crisis happens try to understand that it is a good thing.  Keep going and know that great shifts are happening and you will be stronger and healthier once you come out the other side. 

The religions of Science and Atheism

Yes, I know, that title is going to annoy quite a few people.  I also understand that there are quite a few differences between science, atheism and say Christianity. However, I do think there is are similarities that need pointing out.

Firstly, what do I mean by "religion"?

Religion to me is different to spirituality in that the believer looks to a hierarchy for guidance.  Their relationship with their higher power is through a priest or other "real person" and what they believe is often taught to them.  In my opinion religion alone is based on blind belief. 

Conversely, spirituality is a direct connection between the believer and the higher power and faith is based on personal experience.  Don't get me wrong, a Christian can be spiritual and have a personal relationship with their God but there are others that believe what they are told without question.
 
"So how is science a religion?"

When you look to the general populous and their relationship with science its similarity to religion becomes very clear.  They look to people in white coats and believe what they are told.  There is no questioning, no debate, simply blind belief.  You could say the scientists are "spiritual" they have a personal relationship with their tests and results, but the people outside of that can only believe what the scientist tells them.

The scientists themselves are able to replicate their experiments, they have their proof of their "higher power", but for most people there are few experiments that we can do at home to prove what the scientists say.  I can't proved that there is electricity in my wires, I can't see the electrons getting excited to that transfers the energy down the wire, all I can prove is that when I flick a switch the light comes on.  This means my understanding of electricity is based on blind faith; I have been told there is electricity in the wires and that gets turned into light when it reaches the bulb. It's only because I have been brought up to believe scientists that I don't question it.

"But what about atheism, surely that can't possibly be a religion?"

Are you sure?  Can you prove that "God" does not exist?  As far as I know there are no actual tests that have proven "his" non-existence.  This means the belief that he does not exist, again, is blind.  Where is the difference, both groups of people believe something that cannot be proven to be true.


Many atheists rely on science to hold up their beliefs in the lack of a higher power but we have to accept that we simply don't know that this is true.   We don't know what we don't know and we never will.

Scientists don't know everything and never will.

If Louis Pasteur hadn't been utterly convinced of his discovery of germs we would still be treating illness in completely the wrong way, and yet what he was saying was radically different to what was currently believed.  His discovery changed great tracts of science in one sweep.

Galileo was tried for heresy for stating that the earth revolved around the sun. Scientists said it could not be true based on their understanding of what they knew at the time.

I realise we are much further on in our understanding of physics but there is still so much we don't know.  Is it not arrogance to consider any possibility as untrue simply because our current science can't prove it at this moment in time?

I am not asking atheists or science followers to change their beliefs and "get god"; they have found a religion that makes sense to them and I respect that.  Instead I would like them to accept that what many of them have is blind faith in something that a "wise person" taught them and allow those of us with spirituality to get on with our lives without judgement. 

Bach remedies for going back to school

The summer holidays are over and you have bought all the new uniforms for the kids, now you're back to getting the kids out of bed and back into the routine of the school week.  Here are some remedies that might help this go smoother.

The Monday morning feeling - Hornbeam might be one of the most important remedies at this time as it focuses on that feeling of tiredness you get from just thinking about doing something but when you get moving you realise you have all the energy you need.  Both for you and your kids just the thought of that first alarm going off is enough to drag you down.  Taking Hornbeam can help you get the motivation and energy you need to get those kids off to school.

First day nerves - For sensitive children or those that are bullied fear may be a big factor in going back to school.  If the fear isn't too strong Mimulus might help your little one have the courage to go back after weeks of happily playing in a safe environment.  If they are very scared it might be worth looking at Rock Rose.

Bullying - On top of the remedies mentioned in the previous section adding Centaury and Walnut can help protect a sensitive child from bullies and help them stand up for themselves in a non-violent way.

Worrying about your little one - It's quite understandable for you to be sad and a bit worried when your child goes back to school, particularly if it is the first year in a new school.  In this instance Red Chestnut might help you let go and trust that all will be well.  If you are frightened that something bad might happen then Mimulus could be helpful.

A little help through the day - If your child finds school difficult it can be helpful to put a few drops of each remedy in a bottle of drink that they take with them.  This is a great way to give them support while you are not with them.  4 drops of Rescue Remedy can help if they get upset easily or 2 drops of a specific remedy if they are dealing with a particular challenge. There are also Rescue Remedy gummy stars available that your child can chew when he or she is feeling stressed or nervous.

No child wants to go back to school but with Bach Flowers it can be made easier for both parent and child.  If there are any other challenges you face feel free to contact me for further advice.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/