Walking your own path, your way.

I've just read a lovely post on a facebook feed that suggests that we should decide on an intent for that day and then state it to whatever higher powers we believe in to help keep on track for the day.

My initial response was that this is such a lovely idea.  They were stating their intent to each of the directions, Mother Earth and Father Sky and it sounds such a beautiful process.  I next thought that I should do that every day.  I am aware that I stray from my path easily and this would be a good way to keep on my case.

As I sat with that idea a grim realisation sneaked in that was not so nice.  It went like this.. "here you go, thinking up another morning ritual that you think will keep you connected to Spirit through the day.  You know what will happen; you'll do it for about 2 days and then it will be forgotten.  Then, when you remember what you were going to do you will beat yourself up and think  Other people can do this, why can't I?"

So I thought I would write about the deeper issue rather than beat myself up about the fact that no matter what I try to do as a "spiritual observance" every day within a few days it is gone and forgotten, in fact within a few minutes the connection is forgotten.

You see I love the idea of rituals, simple little acts that supposedly help me stay connected, but in reality they simply don't work for me.  When I see someone else doing it I get caught up in the beauty and romance of it and want a piece of it, but in reality it is just not part of my path.  Not in a strict routine format anyway.

Yes, there are times when I use ritual.  When I meditate I follow the same grounding and connecting process.  When I do a healing I start with the same process to help me connect to the client and put my ego away.  But none of these are done on a schedule, they are performed as and when they are needed, and I think this is the essence of what goes wrong for me when I try to start yet another daily observance.  Spirituality just isn't structured for me.

There is an even deeper core issue here, the idea of how we should express our spirituality.  When I set up my Crystaloak facebook profile I went through adding all the kinds of people I thought I should have on it.  I have gained from this by meeting some wonderful people and been able to have the type of conversation you only get when lightworkers meet.  But on a less positive side is that I am surrounded by people who appear to be better at "being spiritual" than me.  People who perform these daily rituals and seem to be so connected.

Don't get me wrong, this is no judgement on them, it seems to be working wonderfully for them and I honour that.  But, I have to remember who it is that is walking this path; me, and only me.  As much as it is great to learn from these people I have to remember, accept and learn to love what works for me and what doesn't, and this goes for everyone else.

When you first awaken to your spirituality it is very easy to cast around you looking for guidance as to how you should be doing what it is you are doing.  To start with it is very helpful to try on different concepts and see how they fit, but in the end, to gain the depth of connection, you can only do it in a way that is right for you.

So next time I hear about a lovely little ritual that I can do every day I am going to try and remember that if it doesn't stick it's ok... it's just me walking my own path my way, and that is all I can do.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

The book that started it all..

Those of us who are on a path of personal growth are likely to have a book that changed everything for us... a point in our lives when we read something that made all the difference.

For me it was when I was given a copy of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. This book changed my life and taught me that everyone feels fear, it's those that ignore it and get on with life anyway that are the ones that succeed.

So, if you find that your life is full of fear, whether it be a basic level anxiety or a deep fear, it is worth looking at this book for guidance.  It isn't flashy with brash statements that you instantly react to with distrust, it is full of caring and supportive advice that helps you face your fears one step at a time.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Doing what you love? Or loving what you do?

All over facebook these days you will find those inspirational little memes that tell us how to live a happy life.  Many of them instruct us to follow our dreams 100% and all will be peachy, but I have to say that I personally find them offensive and short sighted.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe that we can manifest our perfect reality if we put our minds to it, but I don't think it is as simple as it is made out to be, and underneath the sugary surface is something that is more bitter to taste.

Here is an example:

It sounds wonderful doesn't it? With trust in spirit we can ditch our job and go swim with dolphins and everything will be ok.

So what is wrong with this?  Why shouldn't we follow our dreams?
No reason at all, but we have to be realistic about the amount of work needed and the ultimate effect.  Can we really just hand our notice in and expect the world to go with what we have in mind?


The first part of manifesting something is intent which is bound in with faith.  The teacher Kryon uses the metaphor of jumping into a lake when talking about working with intent to create a reality.

When we stand on the edge of the lake we know many things, we know that when we jump off the earth gravity will pull us into the water, we also know that once we jump there is no going back, and finally, we know will will be getting wet.

All of these things are guaranteed;  there is no danger of gravity not doing its thing or for the water to not be there to cushion our fall when we land.

But life isn't like jumping in a lake, we are not working with laws of physics that do not fail us so we have to trust that what we believe will happen actually does happen.

In many aspects of life it doesn't matter if it goes wrong, we can try things out, make changes and if it wasn't quite like we hoped we can walk away.  This safety net allows us to take small risks and I encourage people to do that.  Feel the fear, do it anyway and you never know what wonderful things might happen.

But, I feel these annoying little quotes point to much bigger things in life.  They are often worded in a way that implies one of the biggest aspects of our lives, our full time job.

How many of us get up on a Monday morning and face a week doing a job we don't find inspiring?  I know I do and almost everyone in my social circle is the same.  Some are lucky to have jobs they love, but it's rare.  So these little quotes suggest we could just drop it all, follow our hearts and all will be well.

Think about that for a moment and think about the metaphor of jumping in a lake.  Do you have 100% faith that you can hand your notice in today and at the end of the week have the money you will need to pay the bills?

I don't think there are many people out there that have that much faith in their higher power or their ability to manifest; and yet this is what the meme implies.  There is no talk of preparation.  We should be able to ditch what we are doing and either walk straight into our perfect job or trust that pennies will fall from heaven so we can swim with the dolphins.

And this is where my problem stems from.  When we read these quotes it sets up a thought process that is not what the poster intended.  This is how I think it actually goes:

Person reads the quote and thinks 
Hmm, yes, you're right.  I should be doing something I love.  
I hate my job, it's so boring and doesn't fulfil me in any way.   Everyone else has a job they love, why can't I do it? 
What would I love to do all day? 
I know, I would love to swim with dolphins, how amazing would that be?  
There are people who get paid for that aren't there?
So, what do I need to do?  Well for a start I need to be where the dolphins are.
Not many dolphins in Wellingborough, I'll need to move. 
Hmm, will have to sell the house.  So I'll get it on the market.
While I'm waiting for the estate agent to come I can hand in my notice at work and look at where I can find dolphins.
There are no reliable dolphins in the UK,  I need to go somewhere else in the world.
I'll look into how much it will cost to move to where the dolphins are.

Also, what jobs are there out there that pay to swim with wild dolphins?

Hang on I would need to be a marine biologist?  I have qualifications in horticulture and bookkeeping, I need a degree?
That's a 3 year course at least.  How am I going to pay the  bills?
What about my family?  How would they feel if I asked them to let me up sticks and move to the Caribbean?

But the text says I should do what I love and everything will be fine!  My life sucks!

And so we find ourself feeling like we are stuck in job we hate, not following our dreams and less than adequate.


So what is the answer?

For me, the concept of doing what you love is missing the point of true happiness.  It's easy to be happy when everything around us is lovely, but there is no substance to that happiness because it is based on everything going our way.  As soon as something happens that is not to our taste our world comes crashing down.  We don't learn to find the silver lining in the cloud if there are never any clouds.

This is where learning to Love What You Do comes in.  Same words, just in a different order but such a different meaning.

If we accept that there are things in life that are necessary but not particularly nice we can start to find ways to love them, to look for those silver linings; and there is 2 ways to go about this:

Gratitude - Look for the aspects of the situation that actually give you something good.  My job bores me senseless, but:

• It pays for me to have a lifestyle that I enjoy. 
• It gives me a reason to get out of bed every day.
• I have people around me so I am not on my own all the time and there is always a chance of making wonderful friends.
• Sometimes it gives my brain a work out.
• I am not at home so I don't have to do housework.

See how I can start to feel grateful for a job that is less than perfect?


Secondly, we can use the concept of "acting as if".  This sounds like I shouldn't work but from experience I can assure you it does.  We act as if we enjoy our job, we act as if it is important to us, and in time we find that we do enjoy it and it is important.  Try it, it really does work.

In this process we are learning to be happy no matter what.  Rather than our happiness being based on external situations and things there is a foundation of self reliance.  If we managed to get the job swiming with dolphins, how scared would we be, deep down, of losing it?  But if we can do a job that doesn't initially inspire us but still be happy it doesn't matter if we have to find another job.

But, I also think the problem with the opening quote runs deeper and is even more damaging to society.

What happened if everyone in the world decided to jack in their boring job and follow their dreams?
Lets take just one job that many people take for granted; rubbish collection.

How many people do you think aspire to be bin men?  Do you think there are enough kids in schools saying to their careers teachers "I want to get up at 3am every morning and pick up everyone else's rubbish"?

Personally I very much doubt it.  And yet we are ALL supposed to follow our dreams.  What state would the world be in if we did that?


So, before you repost that meme that tells people we need to follow our dreams remember that if we all did that society would start to struggle very quickly.  When you throw rubbish in the bin, give thanks for the fact that there are people out there that aren't following their dreams, they're getting up in the morning and doing what needs to be done, and you know what some of them may actually learn to love it.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Caring for our crystals

There is a lot of information on the internet about how to care for crystals.  I wanted to add my slant to the archive.

Personally I recoil from many of the instructions for a number of reasons.

Here are some of what you will find, below I will explain why you should not do this on a purely practical level:

Wash your crystals under running water when you first buy them and after every use.  If necessary use a scrubbing brush.  
Some crystals are water soluble; this would mean washing them could literally make them disappear before you eyes. 
 

Bury your crystals in sea salt to cleanse them.

Salt is a strong alkaline and is also abrasive.  This can damage the surface of delicate crystals or those that have a low ph.

Place your crystals in sunlight to charge them

Crystals are formed in deep and utter darkness.  They are not naturally exposed to sunlight.  Crystals such as fluorite will lose their colour if stood in sunlight for long periods of time.

Rub oils onto your crystals to anoint them

Many crystals are porous, rubbing oil on them could allow the oil to seep into the stone.

People will argue that it is important to learn which crystals can be treated in which manner.  Personally I would suggest that there are so many new crystals appearing all the time that it would be hard to learn this for every one.  I would hate for someone to come home with a new stone to damage it by running it under a tap.  As such I suggest that if you feel you must cleanse and charge your crystals you do it in a way that does not risk the structure of the crystal.

Methods you can use are:

Cleansing breath 
This is the simplest method of cleansing a crystal.  Simply take a deep breath in and with the intention of blowing away negative energies breath out over the stones.  Know that it is done.

Smudging Using either frankincense or white sage waft the smoke over your crystals knowing that they will be refreshed.

Moonlight
On the night of the full moon place your crystals in a window facing the moon or place them outside if you have a safe dry place.  Remember though to bring them in before sunrise.


Flowers, feathers or smooth washed beach gravel
You can lay crystals on a bed of dried flowers, feathers or smooth washed beach gravel.

Singing bowls or toning
There is no reason why you couldn’t sing to your crystals or use a singing bowl to create a cleansing sound


 

Of course, for me none of this is necessary as I believe that stones don’t need cleansing.  You will find a couple of bowls, one containing dried lavender flowers and frankincense granules and the other containing tiny sea rounded gravel.  I also have a wall sconce that I burn frankincense above my stone friends. However, I do not do this to cleanse them, rather to give thanks and treat them to beautiful energies.

This may seem like semantics, one says cleansing the other says pampering but there is a very important but subtle difference.  Cleansing a stone says to it “this is a tool and it isn’t capable of looking after itself”.  Whereas, pampering my stones says “I honour you for the work that you do and I would like to show my gratitude by taking the time to treat you well”. 

Whilst we are on the subject of the practicalities of caring for your crystals it is also important to remember that many are fragile.  If they are stones that you won’t be working with I suggest keeping them in a dust free cabinet.  I have a glass cabinet that is purposely placed out of direct sunlight where I put all my fragile stone friends.

If you are dusting them ensure that you do so gently.  Some stones will take a gentle washing to remove dust but please be absolutely sure that you have read up about it before you put it in water.  Also ensure that the water isn’t hot or cold but at room temperature as you may cause the crystal to fracture.

These stones have taken thousands of years to form and have sat underground waiting to work with us, are they not worth caring for with love and respect?

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Is it possible we need evil?

Last winter when I was in the throes of my SAD I decided to incorporate prayer into my life.  I had remembered being told about The Great Invocation so I hunted it down so I could learn it and work with it.  I didn’t realise how much I would learn from it.

For the most part I don’t have any issues with it. The first 3 verses resonate well with me;  I like the idea of light streaming down to me and humanity, I would love for my personal concept of Christ to return to earth and I do believe that there is a greater purpose that we serve, that we may not be aware of.

It is the last line of the 4^th verse that I struggle with; “And may it seal the door where evil dwells”.

So, what is wrong with this line?  Surely we want rid of evil don’t we?

Firstly we have to consider what evil is. This sounds easy until you look into it deeper.  For some evil is the devil’s work, it is external to us and is here to lead us astray.  To others evil is the human ego when it has become out of control.  The difference between the two is free will and personal choice.  An external source of evil implies we are being controlled whereas we have choice when it comes to our ego.  So where do we stand on this?

After we have answered the question of what evil is, we have to look at its context in life.

On a small scale there have been people in my life that could have been considered more on the side of evil than of good.  My first boyfriend treated me very badly and I was in a place where I could not stand up for myself.  The abuse was mostly very subtle but at other times not so much.  I came out of that relationship quite damaged and spent a fair amount of time a victim of that damage, allowing it to rule my life. 

However, after a few years I was spurred to start dealing with the scars left by his treatment.  I can now say that my crusade to heal myself has led to enormous healing and some of the most profound experiences in my life.  Being with that person was the first step on my spiritual path.

Look at this on a greater scale.  As controversial as it may be there are many people who believed that the US president George W Bush was evil.  Some of the choices he made caused the death or suffering of thousands of people.  Many people railed against him and his policies.  However one thing he did was cause people to think about the end results of his policies.  It is possible that the “Occupy” movements of 2012 stemmed from these protests.  He shone a light on what a number of American politicians believed and brought it to the attention of the world.

Again, can we consider him evil if he is the catalyst for great change?

Looking at these 2 examples, both big and small, we can start to question whether evil is so bad after all.  Would I have strove to learn so much about myself and healing methods if I had not been through those experiences?  Would the world now be looking at politicians with a wary eye if Bush had not been president?

One thing evil does is force us to react.  We can curl up in a ball full of self pity and been beaten, we can return with greater evil, or we can pull together and grow. 

Going back to the line in the prayer; “And may it seal the door where evil dwells”.  Are we ready to not have evil in the world? 

Maybe in time humanity will see that it is to our benefit to learn the necessary lessons without the hand of evil in our backs pushing us forward... until that time I think evil will be around for a little longer yet.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

The light at the end of the tunnel

A few years ago I was in a very dark place.  I had split up with my long term partner, left the village I grew up in and living on my own for the first time.  Although I love solitude it has to be my choice and I was terrified of being on my own forever.

Very often when I was in a dark place I would find myself sitting at the base of a special willow tree back in the village I grew up in.  I had climbed this tree as a child and found a counsellor in it as an adult.  So many times I would sit leaning against its trunk sobbing not knowing how to go on, only to find answers, love and encouragement coming to my mind.

One of the pieces of wisdom that tree gifted me with was the metaphor of the light at the end of the tunnel.

So often we say that the light at the end of the tunnel has gone out, we have lost hope and cannot see how to continue... the willow tree explained the full metaphor to me so well.

The tunnel is part of our path in life.  We walk our path and when dark times come we enter the tunnel.  If things aren't too dark the tunnel is straight and we can see the light ahead of us.  However, if things get really bad and we can't see the light we find that there is a bend in the tunnel.  The light is still there, we just can't see it.

This means, all we have to do in those times is to just keep on walking.  Nothing more.  Put one foot in front of the other, day by day, and soon we turn the corner and the light comes back into view.

The willow made it very clear that it was not an "uphill struggle"... the light hadn't gone out because we had to climb a hill, the path was flat and we just had to keep on walking.

Or, as Dory puts it... just keep swimming

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

Do you have rose tinted glasses?

When we look at the world there is so much to see, such a myriad of people living so many different lives. There are so many opportunities, so many variables that we can only take in so much... and we take in that which is easiest to accept, that which fits our expectations. Without realising it we ignore the rest as if it wasn't there.  If we expect to see negativity we will tune out the good that goes on around us.

In wearing the metaphorical rose tinted glasses we see life from a different perspective, seeing joy where we may naturally expect sorrow. If you want to see a different world, change the way you look at it.

Rose tinted glasses can also help us see what we have and give thanks for it rather than feeling sad about what we don't have. They also help us see ourselves in ways that allow us to be proud of we have achieved rather than getting angry for not achieving more.

Anyone want some rose tinted glasses?

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/