Walking the path of humility

Humility is the ability to know ones own worth without comparing it to others.  It is a deep love and respect for the self but with the ego set aside.  When we let our ego control our self worth we use comparison as a tool: "look how bad that person is, see, I am a good person"?   Or conversely, "that person is so wonderful, I wish I could be as good as them."  Humbleness states "I know my strengths and weaknesses, and that is fine".  There is no comparison to others, just calm and simple self respect.  When we meet someone who has a skill we lack we honour them because we know it doesn't make them better than us.  When someone is nasty we are not harmed by them and we do not judge them because we know that we too have the ability to be nasty and we see the hurt person inside.

For me, learning this balance is a life long journey that I will be walking for some time yet.  Coming from a place of deep self hate and low self esteem it is a long and rocky road.  It started by understanding that not everyone hates themselves like this, and was closely followed by a second helping of self hate when I realised that I even failed at something that looked as simple as loving myself.

The journey brings the highs of realising that other people are less perfect than me and the deep valleys of realising that that simple comparison is also a failure.  There are the pendulum swings between "I am terrible" and "I am amazing" that never seem to pass through "I am enough" for long enough for me to understand how to stay there.

I started to emulate others, only to realise that was fake and would give a veneer of "ok" that would crumble as soon as it was tested.  I tried comparing myself with others so I could pitch myself on a league table of "goodness" until I saw that this was simply my ego taking control again.  And so the journey continues.

This week put me in a situation where I was given the chance to stay in that sweet spot for just a moment.  I won't go into details but I experienced what I believe was someone else going through a similar pendulum swing.  A person I believe is insecure who was acting the big guy to hide it.

Now, the ego would say "look at you, I see through your bullshit and bravado and see the small scared child underneath.  I am so much better than you".  This would be the me that is also the small scared child acting the big guy to hide it.  Instead I thought "oh wow, they're pretending to be big and strong so we don't see the small child.  I could choose to judge or I could choose compassion" 

The ego is still there, niggling, telling me how easy it would be to scorn this person for trying to pretend that they are amazing. But, because there is also the balance of understanding that I too have the same habits. I have hope that this shows I have made some progress.

I also had the chance of an ego boost for the simple fact that I saw what was going on with both of us, and you know what, I'm gonna take it.  Learning humility isn't about accepting how rubbish I am, it's about learning that there are things I am good at and celebrating them.

This is a winding path that forces me to take a cruel look at who I really am and what it really going on.  It shows when my ego had puffed up its chest to protect the rubbish little girl and there is no hiding from it.  The path is so narrow, an abyss of self hate ever present by my side but I am determined to walk it and find the true me that I can love and respect.

Visit my website to learn more about my healing practice  

www.CrystaloakTherapies.co.uk/

 

How to be successful without being amazing

Humanity is waking up to the idea that life doesn't have to be as it was in the past.  We are realising there is more to life than being a "slave to the man" with our brains shut off, believing what we are told and living our lives filled with obligation and drudgery.

This is a wonderful thing and it is great to see so many inspirational speakers stepping forward showing us the way it could be.  But, I think there is a big risk of us blindly following the brightest lights and still not thinking for ourselves.

The shelves are filled with books that promise to teach us to be able to follow our dreams and live our own lives, but scratch the surface and are they really telling us how to live our lives, or are they showing us that to be fulfilled and successful we need live the lives they believe are successful?

In the past being successful meant owning your own home, holding down a job and bringing your kids up to be good citizens.  Now we are meant to do this AND write a book, study a new course, run a successful business on the side, hold successful dinner parties, stay thin, sleep well, do yoga...... I could go on.  We think we are being liberated but instead we are being taken from one box labelled "successful" to another, and now the criteria is higher and we are more likely to feel we have failed.


The problem starts with the fact that many of these authors and leaders are Type A people.  They seem to magically have the energy to run from job to job, stay fit and eat healthy surviving on only 4 hours a sleep a day.  They are the special people, the geniuses, trailblazers if you like, and the thing they don't understand is how to be normal.  They don't understand that most of us just about have enough energy to go to work, deal with the kids and put a healthy meal on the table at the end of the day.

This lack of understanding leads to there being an unintended and hidden guilt trip that says "if you're not like me you're not good enough".

I am on my second book in an attempt to learn more about boundaries and assertiveness, something many lightworkers struggle with.  In both books there has been at least a section that talks about how to become successful and both have given lists of things you must do every day to achieve this such as meditate for 30 minutes, write a list of at least 10 ideas, go for a run, eat healthy, do something to make your dream come true, the list goes on and on.

Have we got to a stage where we can only be successful if we are managing to squeeze 26 hours into a day?

I want to stand here and tell you, categorically, NO!

In the end, for you to consider yourself successful at the end of the day you only have to do one thing.  Ask yourself the following question; "did I do the best I could today?" I assure you, the answer will be yes every time.  If it isn't work out what small step you can take tomorrow to do a little more.

If you want you can follow it up with; "Did I bring more light or darkness to the world?".  All it takes to bring more light is to stay positive, make someone smile or stay calm in a stressful moment.  Nothing more.

We are in a state of transition.  Those trailblazers have found their voices and they have found that people will listen to them.  However, these people are trying to wake us from our sleep by shining a bright light in our eyes, and for some that works.  But for many there needs to be a gentle dawning where the light enters our life slowly and compassionately and we find our own way of being successful, in whatever grand or subtle way that is.

I don't believe we are all meant to be grand healers, writers, painters or trailblazers.  I believe the majority of us are meant to simply hold the light, stay calm and gently improve the world with our compassion.  You can hit a rock with a hammer and you will make a difference, but if you want to make something beautiful you need to gently work it with small movements, tuning into what is really needed.  We are those small changes.

Do the best you can today, and at the end of the day, know that that is enough, you ARE successful!

Visit my website to learn more about my healing practice  

www.CrystaloakTherapies.co.uk/

Embracing colour

Just recently I enrolled on a course to learn about colour therapy, little did I understand that this wouldn't just be a simple case of learning about colour and how to use it.

I was hoping to be offering this therapy fairly quickly but I now believe that I myself have to go through a process of recalibration before I am ready to do so.  Part of this process for me is to explore and experience the effects of colour and how it can be used to bring about healing in my own life.


How can I offer this authentically to others if I haven't used it for myself?

The first step seems to be to understand what colour therapy actually is and be able to explain it to others in a way that makes sense, so here we go; step 1....

What is colour therapy?

Everything vibrates.  It has been found by scientists that due to the movement of the atoms that make up everything around us we are bathed in a symphony of vibrations.  We ourselves are vibrating at our own personal frequency and that is a response to everything about us; our bodies and energy system are effected by the foods we eat, the thoughts we have and the environment we find ourselves in.

Sound and light are the most recognised of these vibrations and they carry a wave form that can bring about transformation to our health and emotional state.  Although we can work with sound to calm frayed nerves or enliven us colour is a very easy tool to work with to bring about change in our lives.

Have you ever walked into a room that has been painted a really bright colour and found yourself feeling refreshed and full of energy?  And of course there are those dingy rooms that we find oppressive and soul destroying.  This is colour having a powerful effect on your emotions.

Colour is pure, unadulterated energy coming straight from pure white light.  For some it carries the essence of Spirit in a clear form unaffected by belief or dogma.  We all have our favourite colours, and those colours we avoid, possibly without knowing it and it surrounds us every day.  We can either take it for granted or we can work with it consciously to help us move through our lives with more clarity, ease and balance.

This can be done simply by changing the colours you have around you, the clothes you wear, food you eat and the décor in your home.  However, it can also be channelled in a healing environment so that the energy of the colour is transferred to your energy system intuitively and in just the right amount.  This can bring about as profound a change as if we were working with crystals or flower remedies.

The next step....
As much as I would love to be offering this right away I am not quite ready.  I appear to be going through a process of bringing more and more colour into my life.  I have always had my vibrant pinks and deep purples but now blue, red and if I am brave orange and yellow will be making their way into my day to day life, just so I can experience how it affects me.  Today I have gone for a softer pink than normal and I am loving it.

Watch this space, hopefully very soon I will be able to bring more colour into your life too xx

Visit my website to learn more about my healing practice  

www.CrystaloakTherapies.co.uk/

How to safely make crystal waters and elixirs

Gem elixirs and crystal waters are a great way to work with crystals in our daily life but there are some safety precautions that need to be considered before they are made.

Are you drinking toxic chemicals?
It seems such a simple process; get a glass of water and drop some of your favourite crystals in it and the energies of the crystals will be passed to the water; but what you might not be aware of are the toxic chemicals that may also be passed into the water.

We have to remember how crystals are formed.  Deep in the earth water picks up chemicals and these then come together to form the crystal.  Different chemicals in different environments create the multitude of crystals.  Some of those chemicals may be harmless, but others not so much.

To name a few: Malachite, pictured left, is often mined for it's copper content.
Angelite can contain lead
Cinnabar is a source of mercury
Pyrite has sulphur as a constituent 
Tourmaline can have aluminium in it

All of these chemicals are toxic to humans and animals and even some plants, if these were in our tap water there would be an outrage, and yet we blithely put them in our glass of water.

Another issue to bear in mind is that some crystals are water soluble.  Not only does this guarantee that some of the chemicals will end up in your water but it will also damage your crystal, something else we want to avoid.

So how do we make a gem elixir or water and guarantee it is safe to drink? 

No soak method 
There are 2 ways you can get around this problem and which one you use tends to be based on your beliefs, whether your crystal is damaged by water and whether you are able to dowse.

The first option is what I call the "no soak" method but others call it the "indirect" method.

Take a clear, colourless glass or jar and fill it with the water you want to drink.  Place it in the centre of another clear, colourless bowl of water and place the crystal in the bowl.  This will transfer the energies of the crystal into the glass or jar without the water being affected by the crystal's physical properties.

Many people would put this in the sunlight to aid the process.  Of course the problems with this method are that we can't always be sure that our crystals won't be damaged by the water or the sunlight for that matter.  This means I prefer not to use this process.

Intentional method
The way I make elixirs and drinking waters are based more on the spirit of co-creation with the stone spirit and the belief that energy can be transferred with intention.

Choose your clear, colourless glass and fill it with mineral water.  Ask the crystal that is right for you to step forward.  After connecting with it and asking if it will join you in co-creation hold it above the water with your non-dominant hand (this is your left if you are right handed).  With your dominant hand hold a pendulum above the crystal and ask the crystal to send its energies into the glass.  Use the pendulum to tell you when the process has been completed.  When the water is ready thank the crystal and the process is complete.  This method can be used to imbue water with any number of energies without any concerns.

Visit my website to learn more about my healing practice  

www.CrystaloakTherapies.co.uk/

 

Down the rabbit hole we go...

Recently I decided to learn a new healing modality and was drawn to colour therapy.  I signed up on a home study course and embarked on learning about this new to me system.  I had no idea the things I would learn about myself on the way.  I have to confess it's been quite a levelling experience.

It's been nearly 20 years since I studied crystal healing and I had no idea how much I had learnt and what I take for granted until I tried to learn something new.  I feel like I am starting from scratch again, and it's amazing, painful and wonderful all at once.

I expected the knowledge to just be there, to be able to sail through this with no hesitation.  Instead I am having to re-learn and re-examine all I have taken for granted for so many years.  To start with that was tough, and is still quite frustrating but I now see that it is set to send me to deeper levels of understanding; not just of how we work with colour but healing in general and, always the bonus, a deeper understanding of who I am and what makes me tick.

Back down the rabbit hole I go.  I hope to blog about what I am learning but I am aware it will be fairly unpolished and open to review at any point... maybe I'll start a new blog that I can link to here where I can share my new learnings and ponderings... watch this space ... this one here....

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

 

Spring Equinox - clearing away the dead wood

As we reach towards the spring equinox, a time when night and day are of the same length, we are taking the next step in the cycle of the seasons.  February was a time to plan the "seeds" we wish to grow in the coming year. Now in March we are clearing the "land" in preparation for sowing those seeds.

This clearing can cause a time of turbulence, often there are unexpected endings as things we no longer need are shed from our lives.  It can feel quite hard to let go of the familiar but, just like the gardener clears away dead leaves and twigs, these are things that we no longer need and will hamper our progress if they are left.

I myself am going through this very clearing process and at times it is proving hard to let go, but that is what we must do.

Hold the faith that as the sun returns in April the land will warm up and the environment for those seeds will become much more hospitable.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/

How can healing help in the real world?

Often it's hard to see how going to see a crystal healer can help you in the real world.  I mean, we have to make real life changes to see better results, don't we?  Not just lay there and let someone waft crystals around and expect all to be ok again.

You would be right, getting a healing isn't suddenly going to fix all your problems, but it will help you make those changes.

Quite some years ago now I was in a situation where I needed to find somewhere to live.  I had been living pretty much rent free and my life had changed leaving me needed to find a flat.  The problem was I could only afford one it a really bad area.  I didn't know what to do, I would be living on my own for the first time and the last thing I wanted was be scared of every noise outside my door.

I was seeing my crystal healer almost every week at this point dealing with what was going on in my life and when I was next on the couch I explained my situation.  We talked and the crystals did their thing and we decided I would ask my boss for a raise.

We all know how pointless that would be, yes?  No boss ever gives a raise just by being asked.

But, because of the healing I was balanced, I was calm and I had faith in my ability to get what I needed.  I walked in that office the next day, stated that unless I got a raise I would need to look for another job and I was given exactly what I asked for instantly.  Within weeks I was living in a lovely flat in the best part of town.  Money was still tight, but I was there and I was safe.  I even found out that I had an amazing neighbour who helped me start to rebuild my life.

Although healing can, at times, help manifest amazing things, for the most part though what it does is bring us back to our optimum selves.  It quiets the doubt and fear, the voice that says it can't be done, and allows us to get on with doing it.

Visit my website to learn about my healing practice  

http://www.crystaloak.moonfruit.co.uk/